THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
this is an emotional support booty call
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
