Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
