cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
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