have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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