and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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