You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
