And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
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