Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
