I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize