well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
just tell him i said nine months
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
