she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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