Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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