hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
