I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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