I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Randomize
