in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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