I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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