You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
