she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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