I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
tell your sister to shave her snatch
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
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