Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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