She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
