that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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