Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
