Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Hippo gnu deer
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
