I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Randomize
