wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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