brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
