I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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