just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
