fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
