Need sex. Gaining weight.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
