I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
