i would punch a child for taco bell
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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