Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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