Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
