I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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