Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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