are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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