If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
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