i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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