North Korea, Best Korea!
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Randomize
