So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
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