Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
