Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
