Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
