That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
