You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
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