I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
