forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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