Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
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