my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Randomize
