i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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