a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
