It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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