Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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