Where is the hickey?
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
