how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
