I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
