ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Randomize
