He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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