I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
