i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
