it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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