she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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