Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
