his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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